The sound and the fury

Time and again, we have marveled at what our founding fathers went through to complete what is the greatest constitution that any nation has ever put forth. Does that sound a little windbaggy? Well, so what? Thanks to these guys, I have the right to be a windbag.

Thomas Jefferson, John Adams and all their wig-wearing brethren could not possibly conceive of a world where bloggers would send their messages through space to a waiting world in a matter of seconds. But they held the basic tenant of the very first amendment to be the building block of what made our nation superior to all others. Speech is free. All speech is free. We have obviously put parameters on this remark. Libelous or slanderous speech is not free, nor is speech that directly puts someone or some group in danger. Death threats are not free. Cyberbullying is not free. The classic example of yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theater is not free.

But when we get to free speech and what we need to defend, it is so easy to fall back on our laurels and talk about the free speech we love. Tea partiers protesting new taxes or school unions protesting the loss of bargaining rights, we as a nation have always been "taking it to the streets," and it is one of the glorious aspects of our nation. It is something that we have had to battle internally through the years. Civil rights and gay rights marches have been met with violence, and those stains still linger, but it seems that maybe we have gotten to a point where the exercise of free speech is completely protected.

Enter Fred Phelps. The leader of the Westboro Baptist Church (Let's get this straight. It ain't a church.) has made quite a name for himself as the new litmus test for free speech in America. Does he care that he has placed himself in the middle of the most sacred of all our nation's institutions? I would guess not, although I am sure he loves the publicity. Phelps and his band of wingnuts have taken it upon themselves to tour the country and demonstrate at various funerals, usually those of American soldiers. Their sole purpose is this: they are convinced (or are trying to convince others) that the United States is a current Sodom, and God is killing soldiers because we have tolerated and embraced the homosexual lifestyle. That's pretty much it. Phelps hates gay people, and he has decided that every soldier that dies is God's punishment for this one particular "sin."

Much like the tax lawyer who finds a loophole to allow a corporation to pay three percent in taxes, Phelps and his crew know how to protest and get away with it. Phelps was a lawyer until the mid-1980s, and ironically, he fought hard as a civil rights attorney in the 1960s, taking cases of African Americans in Kansas, often against the hostile establishment of the time.

The "church" only attends public gatherings, and they usually stay 1,000 feet away (about three football fields) according to whatever local ordinance is in place. To my knowledge, they have never engaged anyone physically. They just know how to press buttons ... and get press. Although they are mainly known for their presence at military funerals, Phelps has a long list of individuals and groups that he has placed on his "naughty" list. It is quite expansive and includes Billy Graham (who Fred calls the greatest false prophet since Balaam), Ronald Reagan, William Rehnquist, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, Fred Rogers (MR. FREAKING ROGERS!!), Heath Ledger, Jerry Falwell, Bill O'Reilly, Jews, Catholics, Swedes and the Irish. Their speech is filled with hate and venom. It is disrespectful and sickening, and until recently, it had gone on without a challenger.

Albert Snyder sued Phelps' group in 2006 after they protested at the funeral of his son, who was killed in Iraq. He cited emotional distress, invasion of privacy and a violation of his right for free exercise of religion and peaceful assembly. He initially won $11 million, but the case was appealed all the way to the Supreme Court, who rightly rejected his case. The court, voting 8-1, said that the group had complied with local officials and protested in a peaceful manner on public property and in no way disrupted Matthew's funeral.

This is where we have to take a good hard look at where we stand as a nation. The defense of free speech is only important when we defend the speech that we most vehemently disagree with. Is does us no good as a society to hold up our own protests and demonstrations as a beacon to others. We have to show that the worst type of protected speech is still protected. This is not a slippery slope. This is the entire foundation. Phelps' speech is not just the opposite of what 99.9 percent of the general public believes. It is stomach-churning bile handled in such a way that incites the most heated of responses. In fact, many message boards are filled with much of the same hate-filled rhetoric that Phelps himself spews. In a free-speech society, those comments are protected as well.

To those people who believe that this is equatable with a hate crime, remember that Phelps says, "God killed your son." Not "I am going to kill your son." He's not dumb. He could very well be the worst person in our nation, but he knows where that line is.

So the Supreme Court, minus Samuel Alito, has stated that this speech is protected. We all knew that it would come to this point sooner or later, so now the best thing we can possibly do is ignore the group. I realize that I am contradicting my own advice by writing this post, but this is the only time I will speak on the matter. If the Phelps clan is treated like they don't exist, they could very well wither on the vine. That is much like asking the fat kid to ignore the big piece of chocolate cake in the kitchen, but it does us no good to engage with these creatures. Violence toward them would only result in a lawsuit and more publicity. Now that they are completely protected (and I must say, rightly so), we must take our own stand. No more coverage by the local newspapers or television stations. No counter protests (although it is perfectly legal and justified). Now that they know they have the right to protest, let them ring on deaf ears.

And if you really want express yourself, just wait for Phelps to pass on. The man is 81. That, my friends, will be one crazy funeral.