You can't handle the truth!

I started watching "Dexter" last night for the first time ever. By myself. In my dark house. All alone. Because that's the kind of livin'-on-the-edge guy I am.

For those of you who do not know, "Dexter" is the story of a serial killer, presumably with a heart of gold. Like many of us, I watch what I watch, and I rarely get around to anything else. 

"What? You've never seen 'Grey's Anatomy?' Are you living under a rock?" "Did you know that 60 million people watch 'American Idol?' " Yeah, well that still puts me in the majority who don't.

Back to this Dexter fella. He's a serial killer, yes, but he works forensics for the Miami Police Department. His need to kill stems from something buried deep in his past — I watched four episodes, so I don't know everything yet — but he has been able to funnel his skills and hunger toward killing those who have killed others. Yes, it's a bit dramatic and over-the-top. I don't tend to believe that there are that many premeditated murders in a 90-mile radius every week. But I guess you have to roll with it. This work that he does, "taking out the garbage," endears us to him, makes him a sort of hero, even though he still has a glint of the crazy eyes that apparently only we can see. Kids, this ain't "Toy Story."

The drama comes from his secret and from his lies. He is living a double life. He has hidden his acts and his impulses from his co-workers, from his sister and from his girlfriend. We are the only ones who know his secret, and because we are now identifying with him, we have no problem when he lies.

This is not uncommon for television. The notion of the anti-hero is not new, nor is it rare. Anyone who followed "The Sopranos" knows that. Or "Big Love" or "True Blood" or "Boardwalk Empire" or "Mad Men" or "Damages." How we as an audience come to root for and sympathize with these people, who we would otherwise despise in real life is maybe a catharsis for us, a way to purge the bad parts of ourselves and place them in the hands of someone who is better off dealing with them.

There are not many Atticus Finches anymore. Actors want characters with flaws. Why is Batman so much more attractive to an audience than Superman? Why do we love to see cops go undercover, creating a whole new persona in order to achieve the ultimate good in the end?

Another show that I have followed intently has been "Breaking Bad," a story about a chemistry teacher who has been given a death sentence through cancer. The only way he can possibly provide for his wife and two children is to manufacture and sell crystal meth. He works out the morality rather quickly and keeps his second life a secret for quite a while. Every step he takes in justifying himself, however, has dire consequences, and the spiral downward continues with every episode.

Walter White, the main character, is not evil. I haven't spoken to anyone who wants to see him fail. They just want to see him get out of the mess he created for himself. And maybe that's as far as we need to go in our transference. Or maybe we root for these people because if they can manage to succeed in spite of their flaws, we can too.

I am not suggesting that either serial killing or selling hard drugs is justifiable (it is pretty amazing writing and acting that can get us to sympathize with those two acts), but we all have secrets. And we all have lied. And we all have a shade of ourselves that we wish no one else would ever see.

Maybe I am going down the wrong road here. I never watched these shows as any sort of justification of my own behavior, however miniscule it is to grand scale felonies. But I saw ... well ... good intentions, and nearly every single one was for protection. Protection of family and of loved ones. But while it makes for good drama, good intentions and protection are not enough in real life.

I have learned this the hard way. Whatever you feel like you are doing to make any situation better in the eyes of your spouse or your children or your family or friends, it achieves nothing within the veil of dishonesty. If you lose everything by telling the truth, it wasn't worth having in the first place. If you lose because of secrets and lies, you will never know how good it was.

So I will continue to watch and to root and to sympathize, but maybe I will also hope that the truth can set these people free. It may not be good television, but it is much better for the soul.